


Because You Love It

by NalgeneWhore



Series: Elorcan One Shots [38]
Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:53:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22759576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NalgeneWhore/pseuds/NalgeneWhore
Summary: im also on tumblr @nalgenewhore! (i post more regularly there)
Relationships: Elide Lochan/Lorcan Salvaterre
Series: Elorcan One Shots [38]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636468
Kudos: 12





	Because You Love It

She didn’t let herself dwell on the memories of every object as she put them in a box, ridding her town house of him. She didn’t let herself feel the tightening of her chest when she opened the drawer of her dresser that was filled with his clothes, hoodies and worn t-shirts. 

Elide hastily dumped everything into a new box, knowing if she took her time, his heady scent of wild wind and midnight rain would draw her back in. She started with his hoodies, the soft cotton too tempting to hug to her chest so she dropped them as if they burned her when she touched them. 

The t-shirts were worse, especially when she got to the ones she would wear to sleep, only soothed into that sweet oblivion when she was surrounded by the fabric that felt like his arms around her. She didn’t admit to herself that her heart broke again when she closed the top of the box, picked it up and walked out of her bedroom down the stairs so she could put the box on her stoop. She went back up and got the other box, stacking it atop the other one with a small piece of paper that had his name written on it. 

Elide went back up to her room, hating how bare it felt with just her stuff, every trace of her ex boyfriend gone. She dismissed the feeling of emptiness that grew in the pit of her stomach as she crossed the room to her bed, flopping down on it and the sheets smelled clean, too clean. She reached for her phone, tears welling in her eyes as she texted him that he could pick up his stuff whenever. 

She threw it down beside her, breathing deeply and fanning her eyes to stop the fall of tears that pricked her eyes. Elide closed her eyes and fell onto her back, crying softly as she fell asleep, knowing they were really over now. 

It shouldn’t have surprised her, shouldn’t have hurt this much that they could never go back to how they had been, could never be close like that, only able to keep the memories tucked far down, in the bottoms of their souls. She had known it was only temporary, had known that they had an inevitable ending, it was only natural. He had known it too and the last few weeks had been agony for her, she didn’t know if he had just hid how much it affected him or if he truly felt nothing. 

Elide woke up some time later, already feeling a headache from her tears as she stood from bed and padded downstairs, stopping as she passed the front door and heard someone shuffling around outside. Her breath was knocked out when she realized who it was and she stayed perfectly still, eyes wide as she waited for the telltale sounds of him walking away. When he finally did, she couldn’t stop herself from cracking open the door, stepping out to watch him walk away. Something was lying on the cold and wet surface of her front stoop and she looked down, tears pricking once more at the sight of her favourite t-shirt resting there, neatly folded. 

She picked it up, the worn cotton soft in her fingers and no matter how many times she had washed it in the previous weeks, that scent of rain and wind and whiskey and smoke clung to the fabric. Elide raised her head to find him looking back at her from the sidewalk, something close to sadness and regret rippling in his dark, impossibly dark eyes. “You forgot this.”

He shook his head, blowing a piece of hair off his face but it just fell right back over his brow, “Keep it.”

“Why,” her voice cracked on the word, at the pity he no doubt felt for her, knowing she had fallen completely and irretrievably in love with him. “It’s yours.”

“Because you love it.”

She didn’t know he could do stuff like this, hadn’t realized that he had somehow learned to feel, to comfort, to love. She didn’t say anything as she hugged it to her chest, tears pooling again. A small smile etched onto his breathtakingly stunning face, one that made her mind whirl when she saw it. The smile carving his full lips ruined what was left of her heart and his eyes twinkled with something but he shifted on his feet when she continued to stay silent, staring at him with blank eyes. “I’ll see you ‘round, Ellie.”

Lorcan turned and started walking down the street, not once glancing back at her where she was frozen in place as she tracked him walking away for the second time. She hadn’t even realized she was moving until he was looking back at her, quiet joy on his face. “Don’t go, I don’t want you to go.” 

The words desperate and heartbroken and it was almost as if she had physically handed him her heart, to mend or to break for good, she didn’t know. 

“I want to be with you, again. I just want to see you and wake up next to you and talk at absurd hours about everything and nothing all at once and I want you to tell me everything that happened during your day and I want to dance in the dark to music we’ve listened to too many times, until we know every word and I want to fall asleep next to you ‘cause the nightmares don’t come when I’m with you and I can’t live without you, L. It hurts to live without you. You were my light after a life of darkness and shadows and you make me feel safe and it doesn’t matter how fucked up life gets because you’re my home. You’ve always been home and I thought I was yours so why can’t you come back to me?”

**Author's Note:**

> im also on tumblr @nalgenewhore! (i post more regularly there)


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